In memory of Dad
My first blog post is in memory of my father, Dr. Jerome Eisenfeld, who passed away on October 25, 1999. This is from the passage I wrote to present at his funeral.
It has been an emotional rollercoaster since last Thursday night when Mom called to say my dad had fallen in the kitchen and she called for an ambulance to take him to the hospital.
I am so grateful that my husband Jeff and I were able to come immediately that night after we realized the situation was serious. Initially we thought dad was gone that first night at the hospital. But, G-d gave us a reprieve.
The next day, after they had told us there was no hope, it was a miracle! The nurses said dad was actually responding to commands! We went in and he tried to open his eyes. He tried to lift his head. He grabbed for our hands and squeezed them. We wondered how could this happen, when the doctors were so sure just the night before that he would never wake up. But, everyone here who knows Jerry knows he is a fighter. He has always been strong, passionate and determined.
The next morning, even after a 6-hour brain surgery the night before, dad was still doing well. His eyes were closed, his head back, but he still seemed responsive. I stayed with him for several hours, talked to him, and sang to him. I told him about all the people who had called and came to visit. I told him I loved him and it was going to be okay. I had to leave the hospital at 4 pm that day because I missed my son terribly, having not have seen him for 2 days. I was heartbroken to leave Dad. He kept reaching for my hand and squeezing it very hard. One time he squeezed my hand so hard it hurt! You all know how athletic and strong Jerry is. I tried to imagine what he was trying to tell me: "I love you." "Don't leave me, I'm scared." or "Don't worry, Suzi, I'll be okay."
I am thankful I was given the opportunity to communicate with dad on some level before he died. I’m not sure exactly what he was saying to me, but maybe it was “Goodbye.” So, I want to relay that message to all of you. Jerry says goodbye. When you get a chance, please come up to me and squeeze my hand so that I can pass along that message and any of the other messages dad was trying to give that day.
I am really proud of my father. I am proud of him for many things . . . for his intelligence, his determination, passion, sense of humor, how he kept himself physically fit---which I know he was proud of.
One aspect of his personality that you may not have known as well is his caring and sensitive nature. In his later years he spent a lot more time listening and learning from people, getting in touch with his own feelings. He was very sensitive and emotional at times. I know some might be uncomfortable with a man being emotional, but I was really proud of dad for that . . . for being able to cry. He shared with me very recently how he could release his feelings and share them with others. He used this newfound freedom to grow spiritually and mentally.
I was amazed when last year he broke his ribs and collarbone from a cycling accident. I didn’t even know about it until I saw him at the next family gathering. If he hadn’t told me I would never had known he had broken bones and was in pain. And you know how he was able to handle his injury? He said that he absorbed all the love and support from his bike club and all his other friends after the accident. This caring and emotion was able to heal him. It was truly amazing to me.
Dad, I love you. And I am proud of you. And, don’t worry, I will be okay. So will Mom and Candice. We have lots of love and support to help heal us. And yes, I will share your squeeze with everyone wants to receive it.
It has been an emotional rollercoaster since last Thursday night when Mom called to say my dad had fallen in the kitchen and she called for an ambulance to take him to the hospital.
I am so grateful that my husband Jeff and I were able to come immediately that night after we realized the situation was serious. Initially we thought dad was gone that first night at the hospital. But, G-d gave us a reprieve.
The next day, after they had told us there was no hope, it was a miracle! The nurses said dad was actually responding to commands! We went in and he tried to open his eyes. He tried to lift his head. He grabbed for our hands and squeezed them. We wondered how could this happen, when the doctors were so sure just the night before that he would never wake up. But, everyone here who knows Jerry knows he is a fighter. He has always been strong, passionate and determined.
The next morning, even after a 6-hour brain surgery the night before, dad was still doing well. His eyes were closed, his head back, but he still seemed responsive. I stayed with him for several hours, talked to him, and sang to him. I told him about all the people who had called and came to visit. I told him I loved him and it was going to be okay. I had to leave the hospital at 4 pm that day because I missed my son terribly, having not have seen him for 2 days. I was heartbroken to leave Dad. He kept reaching for my hand and squeezing it very hard. One time he squeezed my hand so hard it hurt! You all know how athletic and strong Jerry is. I tried to imagine what he was trying to tell me: "I love you." "Don't leave me, I'm scared." or "Don't worry, Suzi, I'll be okay."
I am thankful I was given the opportunity to communicate with dad on some level before he died. I’m not sure exactly what he was saying to me, but maybe it was “Goodbye.” So, I want to relay that message to all of you. Jerry says goodbye. When you get a chance, please come up to me and squeeze my hand so that I can pass along that message and any of the other messages dad was trying to give that day.
I am really proud of my father. I am proud of him for many things . . . for his intelligence, his determination, passion, sense of humor, how he kept himself physically fit---which I know he was proud of.
One aspect of his personality that you may not have known as well is his caring and sensitive nature. In his later years he spent a lot more time listening and learning from people, getting in touch with his own feelings. He was very sensitive and emotional at times. I know some might be uncomfortable with a man being emotional, but I was really proud of dad for that . . . for being able to cry. He shared with me very recently how he could release his feelings and share them with others. He used this newfound freedom to grow spiritually and mentally.
I was amazed when last year he broke his ribs and collarbone from a cycling accident. I didn’t even know about it until I saw him at the next family gathering. If he hadn’t told me I would never had known he had broken bones and was in pain. And you know how he was able to handle his injury? He said that he absorbed all the love and support from his bike club and all his other friends after the accident. This caring and emotion was able to heal him. It was truly amazing to me.
Dad, I love you. And I am proud of you. And, don’t worry, I will be okay. So will Mom and Candice. We have lots of love and support to help heal us. And yes, I will share your squeeze with everyone wants to receive it.
posted by suzi b at 8:27 PM
2 Comments:
What a wonderful tribute. :-)
Hey Mark: Do you remember on prom night when we pulled one over on my dad? Poor guy! It was hilarious at the time. Now that YOU have a daughter, I bet you wouldn't find it so funny. ;-)
Post a Comment
<< Home